1. My neighbors, the Flanders, are driving me nuts. I can’t wait to tell you all about them and their squealing, home-schooled, freakily hypnotic and polite children. Don’t forget to remind me about the 3:00 AM rooster, the barking dog tied up outside, the dad blasting his horn of his diesel truck every single night when he comes home. Oh, and don’t forget the Little Home on the Prairie dinner bell.
2. New Rule: If your children can behave like parrots and screech like someone threw a screwdriver into a jet engine and throw their food all over the restaurant, then I can blow Kool smoke in their faces.
3. Stephen Colbert is a patriot.
4. Some other stuff, but I can’t remember now. Oh yeah, I finished my book.