Which Inner Voice?

You know how you’re supposed to listen to your inner voice when you’re faced with indecision? Or how you should pay attention to that first, gut reaction when you’re unsure of a possible danger?

For some of us, those are bad suggestions.

First of all, I think everything is a potential danger, so that little bromide is useless. Also, I think so fast, I have no idea which thought I had first. Did that guy in the dark sweatshirt scare me or entice me? Shit, I can’t remember! I’d better shoot him. (There’s the reason I’m not a Libertarian, but that’s another story.)

The kind of thing my inner voice tells me is this:

“Life is like the first nice day in Wisconsin,” says my voice, urging me to start a line of greeting cards. “It’s beautiful and warm and the air is thick with hope and promise,”–this is where you open the card–”and when you tackle the yard full of dog shit, just keep in mind that it’s one pile at a time.”

That’s why I should probably keep my thoughts to myself and ask directions at every possible juncture.