It’s a beautiful late Summer day here in Western Wisconsin. I have a to do list about two yards long. I have a couple of great motorcycles and live on the edge of the great driving roads around here. I have a book that needs just a few days’ work and it’s done.
However, I’m skulking [...]

I love my new Trader Joe’s. I never knew there were so many Lefties in this part of town. Not really MY part of town, but close enough to the suburb where TJ is located to wonder where all the “nippies” came from. I don’t know what “nippies” means, but it sounds good.
I went today [...]

Kids from the FLDS and other cults are going to face assimilation into mainstream American culture. Here’s a helpful tip list.
1. All American girls wear pantyhose.
2. Please learn the salute as quickly as possible.
3. The phrase “go fly a kite” is meant to be taken literally. It’s good to know the fastest route to a [...]

Why does Hillary always point to someone in the audience and squeeze off that special wave? It’s very Goulet and super annoying. I wonder how many people have wondered why she was pointing at them.

Sometimes, during village board meetings, I’m compelled to draw the news.

You know how you’re supposed to listen to your inner voice when you’re faced with indecision? Or how you should pay attention to that first, gut reaction when you’re unsure of a possible danger?
For some of us, those are bad suggestions.
First of all, I think everything is a potential danger, so that little bromide is [...]

I don’t know about you, but my spam filter has these settings. I like how I can prioritize the level of my own intolerance, while also guaging the kind of friend I have. Like, I know my friends will say adult things and probably be sexually explicit, which means of course that I expect to [...]

… and I was especially chosen to sort them all out. Just in case, though, I can always check this rogue’s gallery of evil, misbegotten and damned bugs. See how nicely arranged the mugshots are? You don’t think god created junk? What about the “ambush bug” and the “assassin bug?” And right in between them [...]

I’m going to admit something that I bet few of my friends would reveal.
You know those offers for Gevalia coffee? I use them. I toss the coffee out because it tastes like poopwater, but you know what? For the shipping costs (or some nominal fee) I got a coffee maker that is lasting longer than [...]

My friend David sent me this quote to start my day:
“And finally I twist my heart round again,
so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside,
and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be,
and could be,
if … there weren’t any other [...]

[slideshow id=360287970196237326&w=400&h=300]
The universe can be so cliche sometimes.
I was in a bad mood for a few months. The first nice day out here (a cause for dancing in the streets, except everyone is a Lutheran or a speed freak, so the dancing goes on in basements with foiled windows), I got up off the couch [...]

Even though I’m really grateful for all the calls and letters, I decided I needed to create a video to answer everyone’s questions about clowning for Jesus. Remember, it’s extremely important and whatever you do, don’t do anything a patient requests. Those plaintive cries of, “Please, for God’s sake, send me to Jesus now!” are [...]

Guaranteed to make you look!

clipped from www.cyclesidecar.com

It’s Liza Minelli getting her picture taken with Maile!
Oh, to be a fly on the wall. Oh, wait. I AM a fly on the wall. No wonder everything looks so weird.

She still hasn’t explained how they hooked up, but really, who cares? Just getting to meet MF in her velvet jumpsuit is enough joy for [...]

People are weird, case #5,683,593,023,
.

You really have to stay on top of the news. I do. I’m all over it. I am very interested in news from all over the world. For instance, if you keep an eye on The Tide, you’ll learn that
In our society today, many people have mental problem. Many indulge in one crime or the [...]

… which he answered correctly within 5 seconds.
“Who was the famous KROQ DJ from the 70s who also wrote 12th century Catholic holy music?”
hint:

I can’t believe this headline. From CNN:
Accused killer of mom, fetus to face death penalty
I thought I was lucky enough to have found more proof that if a fetus is a viable human bean, pregnant woman should be allowed to drive in the commuter lanes. Or perhaps I’d found an Onion-style hack, but no, it’s [...]

I have a fixation with gruesome crimes. Mob crimes, not so much. Weirdo crimes: bring ‘em on. Crimes with nasty photos? As my mother used to say, “be still my beating heart.”
This blog is a good repository, not quite specialized enough, but good for staying up to date on the worst of us, a [...]

A ‘Family’ Mourns a Punk Rocker Who Defied His Age: 80
December 27, 2006
In his 80 years, Joseph Bernard Zak served in the Navy during World War II, studied to be a Franciscan priest and worked as a teacher and a doorman. He also wrote tens of thousands of lyrics, moving to Nashville at one point [...]

See that photo on the upper right? That’s mine!

I think it’s in this issue:

The cool part is that an editor from ArtForum found this picture I took from a Hines Auction Service event and gave me a free subscription for letting them use it.

Here are my top three presents from my husband:
1. The scary part here is how really excited I got when I opened my gift of oil filters.

2. Of course the squealing only got more intense with my new motorcycle boots. Scott says I can’t wear them to St. John’s next week, because they clash with [...]

According to a Kansas City crime blog I just discovered, the MO Department of Corrections has tallied the tattoos of its inmates.

Shouldn’t the mothers be charged for tattooing their infants?

This is what I wake up to. I spend all day adding to it. I am also completely surrounded by a kook’s nest of piles: paper, bills, things to read, things to mail, bills, gadgets and CRAFTS. My jewelry project is currently spilling over the sides of our coffee table and I still average about… [...]

Never earn your own nickname?
Did you miss your chance by skipping out on the fraternity experience? Forget to pass out at a party and wake-up with a mysterious new appellation? Didn’t play sports or have parents who were fun-loving clowns?
Well, guess what.
You can have your own nickname right now. That’s right, just like buying [...]

Watch the video and I’ll bet you’re on the download button halfway through, even though the new Mozilla-like media player hasn’t even been released.
If you’re like me, though, you’ll be signed up when you see the farting bird logo.

Free music? No way! That’s insane. Thank god our troops have moved in and installed democracy. DRM is is the hallmark of a free society.
http://iraqimusic.com/
Beautiful.

powered by performancing firefox

I was reading about photo usage on Flickr and found a discussion about offensive images, specifically ones of corpses in Iraq. The blogger who’d posted the pictures had a link to this woman’s blog. It’s wonderful and sickening. I think we’re seeding a holocaust.
http://riverbendblog.blogspot.com/

You are a camel. You are flying through the eye of a needle.
All is well in the world.

I have been obsessively collecting beads and shells and books and dingles and sparkles and t-shirts and now i have a huge pile of crafts that I’m not doing.
If you have Skype, you can see my web cam and I can prove it.
I love my friend Hannah for sending me this picture. It makes the [...]

“Cute little four bedroom cottage in Paradise Park 1/2 mile from sc on hwy 9 Community social hall, tennis courts, picnic grounds, river swimming Unique pud type arrangement requiring no loans and Masonic Membership ”
This one is actually affordable, but do I really want to pay the price?! I suppose that Christian movie has [...]

‘Strangers with Candy’: Amy (sister of David) Sedaris stars as a 46-year-old ex-junkie prostitute-turned-high school freshman in this prequel to her cult Comedy Central TV series. (July 14)
I have a sick feeling I’ll be doing some nauseating Rocky Horror Picture Show thing for opening night. Like, hanging a bell from my twat.

Linda runs an errand.
This woman is absolutely incredible.
If she doesn’t make you feel numb and stupid and like getting up and going, then you are a robot. A dumb robot.

My friend’s husband Dylan Hicks made a wonderful debut (I think) in the StarTribune. The next time you see Dylan, be sure to rush up and give him a big hug. Good writers love that.
Actually, I like to rush up and slap him on the back and bellow, “Tally ho, old chum, once again you [...]

I’m sure you’ve seen this in your in-box (no, not that in-box), but I was astonished. Maybe I should start paying attention to the kooks who say the world is about to end.
Oh, wait.
Do you know that ‘bird flu’ was discovered in Vietnam 9 years ago?
Do you know that barely 100 people have died [...]

What Is the Best Work of American Fiction of the Last 25 Years? - New York Times:
THE WINNER:
Beloved
Toni Morrison (1987)

THE RUNNERS-UP:
Underworld
Don DeLillo (1997)
Blood Meridian
Cormac McCarthy (1985)
Rabbit Angstrom: The Four Novels John Updike
‘Rabbit at Rest’ (1990)
‘Rabbit Is Rich’ (1981)
‘Rabbit Redux’ (1971)
‘Rabbit, Run’ (1960)
American Pastoral
Philip Roth (1997)
THE FOLLOWING BOOKS ALSO RECEIVED MULTIPLE VOTES:
A Confederacy [...]

Pepi Longsocks was sad because his schoolmates excluded him from the game “Jump The Weed!”
‘You are very unusual! Ha ha ha!’

Those filthy Swedes, they got me again.
Obviously the gateway to Swedish evil is Ikea. I like the prices. I like the cleanliness. The meatballs are good. I don’t even mind that every purchase contains the [...]

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renovablack,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
It looks blue, but it’s black. How cool and useless is that? I ordered it from Portugal. I’m such a loser.

i can’t figure out what i like more about gardening in the rain: getting dirty or getting clean afterwards.

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Agoraphobicscenery 188,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
i’m going to start a series of photography books called, “pictures from agoraphobia.” nina gave me the idea. it’s really a very good one. i wish i could go out, but nina [...]

she’s really starting to piss me off now. first an Emmy, now she’s stealing my second husband, steve carrell. clearly, she’s using some kind of witchcraft, because i told him to stop calling me until he does something about his wife. but now what? maile just has him all to herself. i bet that’s his [...]

“In the video, the suspects are seen at a basketball court, playing video games and trying to rap.”
And this guy must be the tiny log pirate. His arms are skinnier than that pinner.
“Check it out, G, I rolled a fatty the size of my arm!”

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crash4.jpg,
originally uploaded by sglpix.

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crash7.jpg,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
driveable and lovely and still totalled for $14,000 worth of damage.

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crash8.jpg,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
well, maybe if it hadn’t been YELLOW.

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crash2.jpg,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
this is where everything happened but if you tried to slow down, you didn’t see any of this until you got out of the hospital and your friend who hung around talking to [...]

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crash3.jpg,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
what you get.

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crash1.jpg,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
County Road D: What you see…

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crash6.jpg,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
Down went Kelli’s Aprilia, but both of them jumped right up and ran home. (That’s my bike parked below. Not dumped, ahem.)

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crash7.jpg,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
A beautiful day in the neighborhood.

——————————————————-
This message was sent from a T-Mobile wireless phone.

1. My neighbors, the Flanders, are driving me nuts. I can’t wait to tell you all about them and their squealing, home-schooled, freakily hypnotic and polite children. Don’t forget to remind me about the 3:00 AM rooster, the barking dog tied up outside, the dad blasting his horn of his diesel truck every single night [...]

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Knit Motorcycle,
originally uploaded by Extreme Craft.
Okay, THIS makes me want to figure out knitting. All I can make are potholders, but this is too cool.

Somehow my friend Walter comes up with the best sayings. He puts a lot of them on t-shirts.
This one seems appropriate this Saturday morning. I have to go to a village meeting in XXXXXXXX (don’t need to run in traffic, if you know what I mean). It’s a special citizen’s meeting being called by a [...]

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Maile Gets Her Emmy,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
So my friend Maile (I’m probably not her friend anymore) just won an Emmy for doing the voice for Miss Piddlywinks or some shit like that. She should get an [...]

Fishki.Net - ???? ???? - ?????????????? ????? (46 ??????????, 3,8 ?? ????????) | ??????? ????????:

These would be good times to come visit and not talk too much.
Turkey

Sun, Apr 30 4:00PM
(SDD)

Shanghai

Sun, May 14 6:00PM

French Grand Prix

Sun, May 21 12:00PM
(SDD)

Italian Grand Prix

Sun, Jun 4 1:00PM
(SDD)

Catalunyan Grand Prix

Sun, Jun 18 2:00PM
(SDD)

Dutch Grand Prix

Sun, Jun 25 6:00PM

British Grand Prix

Sun, Jul 2 11:30AM
(SDD)

German Grand Prix

Sun, Jul 16 4:00PM
(SDD)

Laguna [...]

Oh, man, here we go: I tried to outrun it, but here comes the army of things I’d rather do than work:
1. 73 degrees
2. New tires
3. A pair of Bluebirds at the feeder
4. Magnolia tree buds opening
5. Tiny Irises around the base of the maple tree
6. Rabbits eating the Irises who need now need to [...]

Tiger that killed woman was 100 lbs. underweight
This story has all the markings of my favorite articles to blog: stupid animal lovers, gore and a photo of the victim with her killer. Of course, I have to pass on a hundred of these a day so I can get my work done, but when I [...]

Inveterate Bystander

Best. Band. Ever. (This week.)
PLUS… my pal, Steve the drummer (guy on the right), was on Leno last night in a piece about The Humboldt Crabs.

Excuse me for a moment, but you really have to see these pictures of the gnitters’ new baby, Mickey!

The moral of this story is: if you need to buy natural food, you may have to encounter men wearing cloaks. Or capes. What is that?
If you ever see something like this, please report it to me.

While you guys are off having babies and making money, I’ll be keeping an eye on the 2006 MotoGP schedule (which you can now find in my coveted links section.)
The first race of the season was last Sunday and only two things really stood out: Rossi fell down in the first five seconds (also fell [...]

Not only am I posting a song which I’ve memorized more deeply than a lullabye, I am posting the lyrics. Brian Eno and Frank Black are my favorite songwriters, just for the sheer meandering puzzle of their lyrics. Plus, once you’ve got them memorized, the songs are great for loud singing alonging.
I’ve reached that tipping [...]

As my friend Gail says, take a scoop of James Brown, a cup of Elton John and a whole heapin’ helpin’ of Egyptian wisdom and you get (what I say is) the best video ever.
Be here now

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MarchInside 051,
originally uploaded by sglpix.

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03-13-06_0806.jpg,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
So last Friday? 58 degrees and riding? Now it’s Monday morning, 8:00 am and I have never been so happy to work from home.

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March 10 ride,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
Last Friday afternoon. My maiden voyage. Two hours on the river road between Prescott and Hager City. My usual route, but the temperature is normally 17 and it was about 58. [...]

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Belle + Sebastian March 12,
originally uploaded by sglpix.

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Belle + Sebastian March 12,
originally uploaded by sglpix.

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Belle + Sebastian March 12,
originally uploaded by sglpix.

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Belle + Sebastian March 12,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
Oh my god, I left the house.

“Can we ignore the pain of a family whose sole breadwinner has been killed on the road by flying twine?”
As much as I hate to say it, this could be a very pursuasive argument for the NRA.
When I first saw this headline, I naively hoped it was referring to the hawk, but no, once again, [...]

watch me get old

*
It was my birthday recently and a bunch of friends showed up for a huge chow down at the Holy Land Deli. It turns out it was my last supper there until they knock off the stupid Danish boycott, but that’s not today’s message. Today’s message is about fun! Who loves fun? I do!
My friend [...]

Oh, Happy Day
There are several sure-fire ways to kick me out of a depression (besides the meds, I mean):
1. Drive.
2. Drive and listen to this song.
Desite the fact that I immediately explode into piteous, childlike weeping when I hear it, I put it on repeat and go for about seven rounds. You can NOT listen [...]

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A story about auctions. I don’t know if you can see it, but this little lady is checking prices on an upcoming gun auction.

A story from the motorcycle show.

A story about this guy.

Another story about a [...]

my job.
Elmwood board okays coaches? reinstatement.

Don’t even bother going to the Twin Cities Pet Expo on Feb 18, 19 or 20. I’ll be there, filling my doggie bag with doggie swag, so that you don’t have to.
Unless, of course, you want to see ONLY THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH THAT SIEGFRIED AND ROY CAN ONLY DREAM OF PULLING OFF!
(Watch all [...]

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PCHcrimes,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
I’ll be keeping an eye on next week’s obituaries, that’s for sure. You should, too.

Every writer lives in a fantasy world of some sort or another. Once in awhile we allow ourselves daydreams of grandeur, of being hailed in our lifetimes as the greatest American author. I don’t have that dream, honestly, because I’m not that kind of writer, but I do have the same nightmare as everyone else [...]

Once again, from Publisher’s Marketplace.
Frey Acknowledges Mistakes on Today’s Oprah; Readers Sue
“Now like many of you, I have a million little questions,” Oprah Winfrey says of James Frey at the top of today’s show–an evolution of the viewpoint she expressed in a phone call to the Larry King Show. An ABC news report says that [...]

I don’t know anyone who likes John Cale anymore, but he is my Leonard Cohen. I adore John Cale. I would drink urine to spend a few hours talking to him. Oh, wait. I’ve already done that and all I got was a little gagging reflex.
The closest I’ve ever come to meeting him was hanging [...]

From The Publishers Marketplace: The NYT is sticking hard on the James Frey beat, now presenting several former addition counselors at the Hazelden Foundation saying that there is no essential truth to James Frey’s depiction of many of his experiences in rehab. One, Debra Jay, tells the paper, “His description of treatment at Hazelden is [...]

I can find just about anything on the internet. Just ask me. I do it all day long. Think of something, go look for it, find it, take a nap.
Here’s the one thing I can’t find: terrorist web sites. Reporters can find them. Newspapers refer to them. Why can’t I?
I don’t even want to see [...]

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The S&W .357: one way to keep that narrative in perspective. Maybe James Frey should have kept one around as a reminder to stay honest. What I like about this Christmas gift is what a [...]

Thanks to my friend Stefan in Hong Kong for this one: Looks Minnesota doesn’t simply lie down for vampire, guber-candidates like Jonathon Starkey. That’s right, they took a stand and fired his wife. Apparently the witch has not been setting a good example for kids. Since when did bus drivers preach on the [...]

Oh boy! Satanism! Mental Illness! Persecution Complex! Paranoia! Wrestling! Impaling Terrorists! Lifetime VA benefits After Falling From a Plane Without a Parachute! Cringe-Inducing Revelations!
That’s right, it’s Jonathon ?The Impaler? Sharkey, Ph.D., L.D.D.D. or
OUR NEXT GOVERNOR!

Larry does have teeth!
Did anyone else witness the incredible bolt of Jewish lightning Larry King cast down upon the sniveling little liar, James Frey?
[from the transcript]
FREY: I don’t think — I think you could probably find people who would dispute every memoir that was ever published. And a lot of them have been disputed. When [...]

This is exactly how I spend my days.
Which do you watch more of: the video or the slider?

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based [...]

If I made this kind of stuff, I would never, EVER question the importance of my life again.

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Ellsworth-nviro,
originally uploaded by sglpix.
That’s right. This is the place where all our shit goes in Ellsworth. The best part is, we aren’t only the Cheese Curd Capital of The World. We sell our poop, too.
http://www.nviro.com/facility%20references/facs/wcwbc.htm
“…a potting [...]

Okay, I have dreamt of riding my motorcycle like four nights in a row now. It’s time for spring. I’m so anxious for it, I was happy just getting my Anthropologie catalog. Can you say “drindl?”
Actually, don’t wake me until those ugly flat shoes are back out of fashion and on the Sally shelves where [...]

It’s still my favorite.
Click to hear my Pandora station.
If you like what you hear, leave me alone.
(The meat art is so good, isn’t it? This guy did it.)

I swear I didn’t go looking for it.

And the foundation seeking sweaters has completed the project! They got enough! Now they need help with cars that hurt penguins.